The Keri Croft Show
The Keri Croft Show
Ask Amy x The Keri Croft Show: Parenting in Uncertain Times—What the Charlie Kirk Tragedy Brings Up
This week, Amy Nelson is back in the studio with me—and we’re talking about something I honestly wish we didn’t have to: the assassination of Charlie Kirk.
Not from a political lens, but from a human one. From the lens of being parents trying to raise kids in a world where violence is live-streamed, group chats move faster than the news cycle, and childhood innocence feels harder and harder to protect.
We talk about:
✨ What it means to have real conversations with our kids about violence and humanity.
✨ The tension between wanting to keep them safe while also telling them the truth.
✨ How we, as parents, are holding the weight of this moment—and why silence isn’t an option.
This isn’t about red vs. blue. It’s about compassion, courage, and community. It’s about asking the hard questions out loud, even when we don’t have the answers.
Take a breath with us. Tune in. And maybe—just maybe—this conversation helps you feel a little less alone in the heaviness of it all.
👉 And if this episode hits home for you, DM me and join the conversation. I want to know how you’re navigating this with your kids, your family, your own heart. Let’s talk about it—together.
Hey there you beautiful badass. Welcome to the Keri Croft Show. I'm your host, keri Croft, delivering you stories that get you pumped up and feeling like the unstoppable savage that you are. So grab your coffee, put on your game face and let's do this thing, baby. Face and let's do this thing, baby.
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Speaker 2:I don't know if it's frozen shoulder.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I cannot lift my arm. That is crazy.
Speaker 2:That's not good. I start looking like my dad, I quit playing tennis, I don't have time, and I've been doing more lifting again and I realized I'd like gain 10 pounds playing tennis and not lifting, because I was like hungrier and wasn't lifting and I was like I literally have to lift, you have to lift, I literally have to lift, you have to lift.
Speaker 1:I mean that's I will fight anyone to the death.
Speaker 2:that you have to lift. It's just very simple.
Speaker 1:You know, the thing about cardio that I wish more people could understand is that you can get cardio in life. Yeah, you can figure out ways, and I'm not saying not to do. I do little like intermittent spurts of cardio.
Speaker 2:Still, yeah, like I like doing 20 minutes on the stairwell cardio. Still like I like doing 20 minutes on the stairwell, but like it's for me, it's because, like I, want to watch a show or like it's, you know.
Speaker 1:But if you're also doing strength training, I don't want to say the right way, but the way that I believe I like to do it it feels like cardio half the time anyway it's hard, yeah, because your heart is like pumping like crazy.
Speaker 2:Well, and I was listening to um this really awesome expert on mel robbins about, like, who studies women's fitness at Stanford. I know who you're talking about yeah, and she was like women shouldn't be resting between sets as much as men. You gotta go right. And I was like, oh, that's so interesting because, like when Carl and I live together, he always wants to rest forever between sets. And I'm like I just want to do it well, but he's also like the male population.
Speaker 1:they're usually trying to PR and if not PR, they're going for a very heavy heavy. So you have to. Your body is just naturally going to have to rest like that. If you're doing lower weight and it's still high like a high weight for you.
Speaker 2:Right, that's how I am.
Speaker 1:You can go higher rep and then that's. It's a whole different animal.
Speaker 2:Like I don't go to failure with everything.
Speaker 1:I do, you know what I mean. Do high weights, but like, yeah, that's, that's what you should be doing, for sure. Good morning.
Speaker 2:Amy. Good morning, Carrie. Welcome back to the Carrie Croft show.
Speaker 1:So happy to be here. Ask Amy edition. I mean, I love it so much.
Speaker 2:It's so fun, I love talking to you. I could talk forever.
Speaker 1:I know, me too, but I really don't love the topic that we're going to broach here at the top of the show. But you know, as we just discussed, I feel like it's very necessary.
Speaker 2:It is because the conversation is happening everywhere, so we should have it too.
Speaker 1:We absolutely should and I will reinforce this. I'm not a political person and that might drive some people crazy to hear me say that I just you know I'm careful around trying to go too deep into a rabbit hole around politics, but this isn't to me.
Speaker 1:you know, the Charlie Kirk thing is not about politics to me as much as it is humanity Right and our kids you know, and let's talk about the fact that we live in a world today where, you know, our kids now have witnessed an assassination on YouTube. Our kids now have witnessed an assassination on YouTube, right?
Speaker 2:I mean that was that. I mean that's like why this is, at first blush, so important to talk about. Like we're both mothers and I was. I was on X, I was scrolling X yesterday and I hadn't you know. I just opened up the app on my phone and I saw the video of Charlie Kirk's murder and I just let out an involuntary noise because I'd never seen anything so shocking. And I'm 45 years old and my husband walked out of his office and he's like what happened and I said Charlie Kirk was murdered.
Speaker 2:My husband's like who is Charlie Kirk? But you know, the murder of anybody. Our children shouldn't be watching it live streamed, right, and it's. And we have to address it with them because they're going to, and so you have to have that conversation because otherwise we live in a world where nothing is real, right, like if they're seeing, like if we're not talking about the fact that this was an actual human who was murdered and it was filmed and that's what you watched and that's terrifying and heartbreaking and wrong, then they might see Charlie Kirk's murder and actual person's murder the same as they, like saw something that happened in like K-pop demon hunters, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're not in a. This isn't a. This isn't, like you know so, a game on your computer this is a real human being.
Speaker 1:That was a dad with two little kids, you know, I mean, it's just like I, and I guess I'm asking for a friend here, right? So approaches that I like to take on this show and I always say this whenever it's relevant is I don't have. I don't get a microphone and turn on my Rodecaster and say you know, I have all the answers. It's the opposite I'm in search of answers, I'm constantly curious and searching around the human condition. I want to be challenged, I want to change, I want to evolve and I want to learn, right, so I'm asking for a friend right now. Where are we as a country, but even bigger, as a world, where the idea of pluralism, the ideal, the idea of getting to sit at a table with someone else and having an opposing view, is this, this threatening, vile scenario that we run away from as opposed to seeking to understand and then be understood? Where are we?
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 2:We're lost and we're nearly broken and we are on the brink is how I feel about it, and it's really devastating, and from my viewpoint, just as a person. First of all, you know, I grew up here in Columbus, ohio, where we really are a mix right of red and blue, and I was taught by. I remember asking my parents when I was young like what political party are you in? And they're like it doesn't matter and we'll never tell you. I was like why? And they're like because you need to make your own decisions, right, that's up to you. Like it doesn't matter what we're in. But my parents did say we encourage you to think about policies you care about and not just, you know, choose one side or the other. But we had the conversation. I grew up having the conversation with friends, with teachers in school, with my parents, with other adults, and we always talked and I thought that's what we did, that's how we learned, that's how we came to the good ideas, the best ideas, by taking in different opinions, right, and figuring out what the best path was as a compromise or as somewhere in the middle of those opinions. And then I moved to New York city and Seattle places I deeply loved, but were far less of a mix of opinions, more kind of like one-sided, and I really fell prey to it for a long time too, of like, well, we're right, they're wrong, we're right, they're wrong. But that's not how it is right, and our country was based on this idea of bringing together different ideas. You know Lincoln the famous book about Lincoln is A Team of Rivals, because when Abraham Lincoln won the presidency, he brought his opponents into his cabinet to provide the best for this country. And now we're at a point where people aren't even talking, and I was telling you about this earlier, but it blew my mind this morning, which is one of the reasons I think it's so important to talk about Charlie Kirk is.
Speaker 2:Last night, when I saw the video, I immediately went to my 11 year old, who was watching YouTube, and I said have you seen this? And she said no, and so we talked about the assassination and the horror of the video, the horror of the act, and I said to her I go. I imagine what will happen now is that people will start a debate. That's not really a debate. Some people will say, well, charlie Kirk was a terrible person and he brought this upon himself and some people will say Charlie Kirk is a hero. But it doesn't really matter what you think about Charlie Kirk, because the thing that matters is that no one deserves to die for sharing their opinions Nobody, not in this country, not anywhere, but certainly not in this country. And we talked about that for a long time and how political violence is wrong.
Speaker 2:And then this morning she's in a group chat with a bunch of fifth graders on her watch and this morning she was listening. Kids were going back and forth. You know Charlie Kirk was bad, Charlie Kirk was good and Sloan asked me she's like Mom, how did you know this would happen? I'm like, because this is what always happens right now in this moment in history. And Sloan said you think it's okay if I write like it doesn't really matter if he was bad or good. No one, no one should die for their opinion. And I said go for it. She wrote, she voiced that into her watch and then she was promptly kicked out of the group chat by another student and it just broke my heart because, hey, I don't want my daughter to learn that if you share your opinion, you'll be removed from the conversation, you know, and then be.
Speaker 2:It broke my heart because what are other kids doing being told at home? Are the schools talking about this at all? Like it's, it's the idea of debate, like I want my daughter to be around every opinion. I want her to learn how to process, to analyze, to come up with her own thoughts like what? Where I ask you back, where are we? How do we, how do we come back from this? Can we?
Speaker 1:I don't know and I want, I want people to write in and talk about it, because you know, as a parent and just as a human being and it's not just Charlie Kirk it's like go back, what last week? Was it last week or two?
Speaker 2:weeks with the church shooting.
Speaker 1:I mean, let's just, there's too many to even name.
Speaker 2:Right, I mean even just this past three days, right, like, yes, charlie Kirk was murdered yesterday. There was also a school shooting in Colorado, which barely got any news, because you know. And then two days ago, a Ukrainian immigrant who fled the war was stabbed to death on a train in Charlotte, north Carolina, and everybody just watched it. No one did anything. So this is it's overload of these horrifying acts.
Speaker 1:And so I guess it begs the question. You know I was walking my son to school this morning. You know, sun's out I'm in this little perceived safe bubble emphasis on perceived of upper Arlington and just living my life, drinking my coffee like raw, dogging it out of a mug like a serial killer.
Speaker 2:I do the same thing I take my mug everywhere.
Speaker 1:And so what I started thinking about was are? I just want to talk to other parents like are you okay, and how are you managing this, the, the, the complexity of you know you're in this safe bubble with your kids and you're trying to give them this experience of childhood that is, you know, soft and full of laughter and lunches and story time and sports, and then you, as the parent, understand the heaviness and the gravity of the world in which we live today and trying to manage your mental health and, like the thoughts that come through your head and keep this like bubble of childhood and safety intact. It's a really Herculean task and it's scary and it's unprecedented and I don't know. I just how's everyone doing? How's everyone doing? Because this isn't normal, it's not okay and it's not sustainable.
Speaker 2:It's not sustainable.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 2:It's too hard right Like I think that parents are not okay and I think you know one thing that is important is to talk about how we're not okay, aside from like not to get in a political debate, but to acknowledge this is a really complicated landscape that we're navigating as parents.
Speaker 2:It's complicated for our kids and, you know, one of the ways that we solve problems is by talking. It's like we need to bring people back into a conversation. That's very honest and it can't be about take the phones away from the kids, get them off the Internet. That's not realistic. Stop. This is not the world that we live in. This is where we are. It's also, you know, like we need I'm saying something political like we need better gun control, but guns are never going away. And if it wasn't guns, like could it be knives or you know like, but like we need to talk about it, like the reality that we live in, like lay set the table, say this is where we are, what do we do, how do we protect each other? And maybe, if we're having those conversations and we're having those conversations with kids, we all become more protected because we know people give a shit and it won't happen as much.
Speaker 1:And back on the Charlie Kirk thing, I'm just, I'm not surprised at the responses. You know, just like you said, there's going to be people that say he's a hero and that say he's a villain. But I just can never get down with or understand cheering or feeling some sort of happiness around the demise of another human being and then don't you understand that, like what you're trying to do? So whoever this person, this coward, was with this gun standing up for quote, unquote, whatever they think they were standing up for, you just galvanized an entire group of people. You just poked the bear in a way that, like now, he's going to be revered, lionized, and we know what happens. And so the opposite effect is going just watch it. The ripple effect of this is going to be completely opposite of what you were trying to accomplish, of what you were trying to accomplish.
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Speaker 2:A hundred percent and it is like it's so short-sighted right, like it's, you know, martinuther king jr when he was assassinated. What happened is that the leaders of the civil rights movement were able to get through a ton of legislation that had been very controversial, very uncertain if it would pass, and the response to the national grieving over mlk dying was a groundswell of support for this legislation. That changed america and and and so it's like. But if, if they wanted to kill MLK, to kill the civil rights movement, they galvanized the civil rights movement to your exact point. That is like we've seen it in history and it will play out again and I don't know how in this particular case. Um, I don't know how, but I hope you know. What we can try to do again is have a conversation.
Speaker 1:And whether you agree with that guy or not, and there were multiple times I was very familiar with who he was and I would watch here and there whether it was on YouTube and he would get fed or something and I was just always struck with how articulate he was and how well he was able to open dialogue and just he didn't care. He was like I'm going to just get the microphone, let's have a conversation, and so, whether you agree with his opinions or not, like, push away his opinions. That format and infrastructure is what made our country great is having a debate around things you care about, so plug in whatever you're debating about. So are we, are we not allowed to do that?
Speaker 2:anymore. My dad was saying some people are saying that Charlie Kirk is a victim of the political atmosphere. He created the very divisive atmosphere. My dad said what do you think about that? And I was like that's just such a nice way to invite a conversation instead of saying, instead of my dad declaring that was his opinion, shutting it down, making me feel aggressive or like I couldn't say anything, and it was like that. It's something as simple as that. And I feel like we I feel like a lot of adults have forgotten that as a tool and we're not teaching our kids that as a tool. No, what do you think about that? Like I want to hear your opinion and I'm not then ready to jump down your throat, to jump down your throat. And it was really like, yeah, I was listening to a clip where Charlie Kirk was talking to a college student who identified as a man who hadn't, you know, gone under any like transitional surgeries or anything.
Speaker 2:But they were having a great conversation with Charlie and Charlie was like are you comfortable telling me your story, are you? And he was asking him such great questions with such respect and at the end he said something that you know I didn't love. Charlie said like my hope for you is that you feel comfortable in the gender you were born in. And I didn't love that as the end of the conversation, but they had a dialogue and Charlie invited this person to share their opinions and they talked and the person felt heard, right, right and like that. That's the debate.
Speaker 2:And whether you loved or hated Charlie Kirk, the thing that he did was actually really important in America because, at a time when a lot of our youth are opting out of the Democratic experiment of like not voting, not knocking doors, not showing up for reasons which I understand in a lot of ways he was Charlie Kirk was going to college campuses drawing massive crowds simply to debate, to have a conversation, you know, and and he did.
Speaker 2:And that's important because he was, he was someone who believed in debate. He said we are allowed to debate, and not only that, but like come on up if you want to, if you want to have a different opinion than me, you get to the front of the line and like that. That is so important. And now will we have less of that because of Charlie Kirk's murder? Because that's a loss for America? And the other thing is, you know, I think our politicians and our political leaders, whether they're in office or not, are going to retreat. They'll get more security. They'll become more distant from the people they're meant to represent and talk to and learn from, and that is a huge loss.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just I think about it and I'm like what is if things keep going the way they're going? What is 20 years from now? Look like, keep going the way they're going.
Speaker 2:What does 20 years from now look like? It doesn't look like a republic, it doesn't look like a democracy. I don't know what it is, but it's not an exchange of ideas and that's what our country was founded upon. I don't know, and there's part of me, you know, like in this mix of emotions, you know, last night my heart, part of me, was like I just want to protect my children and I hate all of this and I can't deal with any of it and I want to move to the country or an island and homeschool them and shut down and just say we're out.
Speaker 2:And then there was another part of me that felt like my God, more of us need to be like this kid and go out and have public conversations, no matter how afraid we are, no matter how many people will disagree with us, and we just need to do it. You know, I used to be really involved in politics and part of one party, very vocal, raised a ton of money. I now consider myself postpartisan because I just don't think either party does a great job of representing people. But it's interesting. I'm actually afraid to even say that because I'm afraid people will come for me if I say that and I feel pretty comfortable debating people, but like I'm just tired.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they will come for you. They're leaning really heavily towards the Democratic side again. Oh wait, you know what I am now a Republican Like? Or hey, I'm postpartisan, You're going to get eaten alive, no matter what. So it's like what are I mean? I am truly at a loss. I think it may be because I and I did watch it over and over again- last night like the part where he got shot.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, I did. I mean, and that's what I would just like pause for a moment world and I know like that is the.
Speaker 2:it's a natural instinct to do that, but we, we cannot, we cannot. I just hope they take the video. You can't scrub a video from the Internet, but it is too much, you know.
Speaker 1:And so then I was like you know, you just think about not only our kids watching that, but his children, his wife, the people in his little corner of the world who saw him as a soul soul, a living, breathing human being with flaws and, you know, loved him for who he was.
Speaker 2:I mean, imagine if that was your. No, I can't even. Or your brother like.
Speaker 1:I can't and I just I guess I am. I just see people out there who I I think are otherwise intelligent, loving people, who I you know, I yeah, you're probably a pretty good person and they're. They're trying to sort of fit this in a box where it was okay because their political views are so far left. Yeah, and I'm like that. No, don't put a social, don't do not put a social media post out this morning. That's trying to caveat which. I saw this from a couple of very prominent people on the left.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've seen it from more than a few.
Speaker 1:Shannon Watts being one, you don't have to say any. Oh, by the way, I know he was a human being, but this also can be true, the duality of no, because you could be considered an extremist on the left.
Speaker 2:Right. And the thing is, if we accept political violence in any form, we accept it in all, and then we are fucked If that would have been somebody on the left that got shot.
Speaker 1:Are you kidding me? Hell hath no fury. And again, I'm not one of the. I am someone who just wants To live in a world where you know. I'm not trying to say, I'm anything, I'm independent and I am very disappointed and disenchanted with all of it.
Speaker 2:That's what I am.
Speaker 1:But I also, you know, don't don't put posts out trying to caveat the fact that it was OK that this person was assassinated in a public forum because you don't believe in his and he was an extremist and he was creating wreaking havoc in the world, or whatever.
Speaker 2:Well, the thing is, if you're, here's the thing. If you're saying that Charlie Kirk brought this upon himself because of his views, you are saying we can't debate. You are saying we cannot have the full spectrum of views in this country. You are saying that it is OK to be the opposite of what our founding fathers created this country for. You are saying, no, we cannot debate.
Speaker 1:And that goes for your side too. Right created this country for you are saying no, we cannot debate, and that goes for your side too, right? You know that it's, it's, it's, it's just it's incredible to me.
Speaker 2:I, when I practiced law, when I started out of law school, I worked for this incredible lawyer named Floyd Abrams and he's very progressive and he was a First Amendment lawyer and he took on, like the Pentagon Papers, when, when Nixon was, you know, being kicked out of office.
Speaker 2:But he said to me you know, because you could think, if you're going to work for Floyd Abrams, you're going to be doing all of this amazing First Amendment work and it will be very progressive. But he said to me at lunch, he took me to lunch and he said if you're going to work with me, you have to promise me that you will defend the rights of the KKK to speak just as much as any cause you care about or think is right. And I had to sit with that. But that's the American promise and if you condone Charlie's murder, you are shooting that promise down for all of us. Yeah, it's not OK. No, it's not. And it is very brave to disagree with everything he says and condemn his murder. And for every progressive out there, barack Obama did that, bill Clinton did that, your presidents did that, you know your leaders. And that's what we should all be doing.
Speaker 1:No, I totally agree. So, yeah, if you're listening to this and you have an opinion or you're feeling a certain type of way, just reach out. I do feel like you know, in this micro forum here on Ask Amy, let's have a conversation, because I know I'm feeling the weight and the heaviness of, just like I said, of managing these two different pieces of life. Yeah, the, you know, trying to keep your kids safe and in this little I don't even want to call it make-believe world, but like what is childhood right, and then this heaviness of, oh my God, what the hell? And so I don't know. We're in it together and we can all share and learn from each other. And, um, I promise it will not be a political conversation and it's.
Speaker 2:There's one thing I wanted to say, because I think I think about this a lot, because I'm like, oh, it's so hard to be a parent today. And then I'm like, well, in 1850 they dealt with disease and you know, in 1940 they were dealing with wars, but like those were these great big collective enemies that we kind of understood and we're dealing with. I feel like now like we don't even really know what the enemy is or where it is, because it's so random and it's. And how, how can you prepare for it in that way? No, it's elusive, it's elusive and it's elusive. And so I think I do think conversations, talking, parenting as villages, we're all going to do humanity. It's not about a political anything.
Speaker 1:And it's about surviving and trying to thrive through the realities and complexities of the world that we live in. So like. This isn't a place where it's like oh you're a Republican, fuck you. Or oh you're a Democrat, eat shit.
Speaker 2:I don't care, I don't give a shit, I'm not going to spend my day on red blue, whatever.
Speaker 1:I'm going to spend my day trying to improve the atmosphere collectively, getting very honest and real around how people are feeling and how can we we are I mean, come on, we can do better. We all have greatness inside. We do.
Speaker 2:And we need to call upon it and have the moral courage to stand together and talk and make it better. No one else is going to do it, and if you are a parent that gives a shit about your kids, stand up. It's time Like there's no more. There's no more ignoring it.
Speaker 1:Maybe we should have a little I don't know in-person meetup, who knows?
Speaker 2:Who knows, I would love to do that. I was thinking the same thing. Who knows what we're full of? Full of opinions. Thank you, amy. Oh, my gosh, thank you, it's a pleasure. At least we get to talk to each other. No, I agree. Like that's the thing you always lift me up.
Speaker 1:You either lift me up or you expand my horizons. You do something, it's always positive.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1:And if you're still out there following your girl, follow me on YouTube, spotify, apple or wherever you get your podcasts. And until next time, take a deep breath. Let's love each other and keep moving baby.
